לעמל יולד

If repetition is hated by Man, then how much more so is it hated by G-d when Man is in perpetual folly.

לפום גמלא שחנא תנן. י

ריש שתא טבתא לכולי עלמא. ( : י

מורא

זה שאמרנו שמכבסין ומסתפרים בער"ה (תקפא-ד), ועליו אומרים "להראות שאנו בטוחין בחסדו יתברך שיוציא לצדק משפטינו", אינו בא להגיד שר"ה חג ככל החגים (ח"ו), ושלא (ח"ו) כמו שעושים כמה אנשים קלות-ראש יתירה בסימנים. אלא אדרבא- זה שאנו מלובשים בבגדי החג וכו, נעשה לטעם מסויים, ואינו בא לשנות בכלל את מהות היום, שהיא יראת יום הדין ממש. והדברים פשוטים, ואין צורך באמירתם...י

תמליכו חברכם עליכם

Very concisely- there was a girl I went out with in Miami two years ago (someone who has been specifically mentioned here quite a few times), but who I wish to mention now in a different context) who ultimately felt I was lacking in certain elemental interpersonal traits. She wrote me an email of lessons and teachings for myself improvement upon the commencing of our short tenure together. I would like to quote a small piece of it and comment a bit- this is just a sampling of it:

"As a mother raises her child, she usually teaches him how to act. She lavishes him with care and in return demands/expects gratitude. All people need appreciation, usually more than “thank-you” but a genuine empathy and appreciation. Of course it is impossible to re-raise a grown person.

But a good exercise in learning to think this way could be to get in the habit of thinking about and vocalizing one nice thing about each person you meet.
At first it might seem forced or artificial but soon it will become a permanent habit in life.

Tell the bagboy at the grocery that you appreciate what a nice job he his doing for you.

Another important character trait is empathy. When you see another human being, think about what it is like to be them. What is it like to be the Janitor cleaning the bathrooms?

How can you improve his day?

What could you do to help make his job easier? after all, without the proper circumstances in life, you could spend YOUR life cleaning toilets. How would you like to be treated as you were cleaning toilets?

...So much so that we as Jews who were created in and should behave in a manner that is in accordance with Hashem’s image, should lavish kindness upon every person we meet, Jew, Gentile, brilliant or retarded. And as we treat others, Hashem judges and treats us. This is just basic Judaism.

...Observing that someone is serving you and getting up to help is along the same vein. Not just in a home, but even in a restaurant."

I was thinking last night (in Starbucks Coffee) when my thank you was a bit lacking to the one who made the coffee for me about what it says here- namely that even a thank you is not good enough, you have to 1. Really feel that he's doing you an unnecessary favor that you don't deserve, and 2. You have to make him feel appreciated.I was thinking, that when it says "תמליכו חברכם עליכם", does that mean just to people who are older than you? Just to Rabbis? Just to Jews? It means everybody. Would a king make you coffee? Well he is! The least you can do is be thankful for it!

Another thing that came to my mind was that when I worked in a restaurant there were obviously people who said things that made me happier than others. I personally enjoyed when people were playful, but it's hard to say everyone enjoys that. One thing I think most people enjoy is (like I said) to seem very appreciative of the service being done. Now, of course there's no need to be gay about it (I use "gay" to mean "overly nice", or unusually friendly), but I was thinking you can say something like "oh man! You're a lifesaver!", or "ahh, this is really good! You da man!", or something along those lines (of course the exact wording would have to change based on apparent "cultural preferences"/gender of the person serving you).

But then again, it must be stated that people have vastly differing personalities, and different people are more or less comfortable saying certain things, and different people are more or less happy to hear certain things. Example: the girl I'm speaking of lived in an upscale part of Miami where there was a guarded gate at the entrance. She smiled and waved at the guard every time she came in our out (in her car). I on the other hand don't feel I would really have the 'audacity' to do that kind of thing every time (not to mention the 'gay-ness' involved!).

So I still don't think it's a set science how you should act or what you should tell 'service providers', but as long as one sticks to the guidelines initially laid out, it would be well-alright.

עיטוש

Man, my chest bruises are getting better, but my chest anyway was one of my most frail and sensitive parts (I was born with a hole in my heart for example...or so I was told רחמנא לשיזבן), but now I've even got a cold because of the change in seasons...so I'm coughing and sneezing all the time now. But every time I sneeze (even when I hold it in-which I've obviously had to start learning to do recentely..although I almost never did in the past-it's a Moroccan thing!), it feels like a bomb is going off in my chest! ..but it's getting better!

...why am I mentioning this here again..? Oh yes, because I can! ; )

ציצית

י"ל דאפילו למאני דלא סברי דמצוה ללבוש ציצית כל היום כדברי האר"י, היכא דשכיח הזקא יש ללובשם קודם שילך בדרך משום שמירה. י

101- New f--king post already- yay!

Finally, a new post! Well, aside from my summer, I had something fairly interesting happen to me (which I believe is actually a 'mitzva' to discuss in public to some extent). I bought a car in Green Bay with the intention of driving it to New York (with a stop for Shabbat in Cincinnati by my uncle). ...only problem is I'm not the best driver.. Anyway, I had already driven most of the way pretty quickly and successfully, and then 10 minutes out of Cincinnati, on a downhill sharp turn (not to mention the roads were slippery because it was heavily raining) I see a (stopped) car in front of me stretched out sideways blocking my lane! So I had to take a sharp turn to maneuver around it, but I lost control hit another car, and slammed into the rail. But it wasn't so bad! ..but then I realized my car didn't stop yet! It turned around again then slammed head on into the wall. But thank G-d, for he protected me and those around me, for besides some heavy chest bruises I left unscathed, and so did the girl in the car blocking me (who initially lost control there), as well as the woman I hit, and another woman who crashed after me! I tried to introduce G-d's name to them (who were most likely believers) when they were all talking together I said "let's thank G-d none of us got hurt".

הודו לה כי טוב- כי לעולם חסדו

ברוך הגומל לחייבים-טובות, שגמלני כל טוב

Ultimately my insurance just has to pay the lady and I'm hoping I can get some money out of the girls insurance company for causing my crash. But I should also be very thankful that not only did the police there not put me in jail for driving without a license, they even drove me into the city. Once there I ordered a taxi, and the one I found was very interesting; some attractive young 'black' woman who covered her hair and closely affiliated herself and her kids with some form of Judaism. In fact her name was 'Yocheved', her son was 'misha-el', daughter- 'yerusha-ya', son- 'el-hanan'. Very cool. But she did say the recently she has been attracted to a form of religion that feels that the main objective is to keep true at least to what seems proper for us according what is manifest in nature (I told her she might find some form of theological backing in the works of Spinoza...I don't know if that's true! ..but..whatever).

So it was too bad losing the car I just got..but I'm very happy to be OK coming out of such a forceful collision, and happy I have wi-fi Internet connection here in the Dayton airport!

עוד חזון להינתן- בחסדי הא"ל הנותן